Dads are the Shit.

Its a day late for this post from me, one I’ve planned for awhile but didn’t write or post yesterday because being a woman is hard and I am tired. But this is an ode to Dads, to my bio Dad and all the adoptive Dad’s I’ve gathered along the way.  

I brought my Dad to Mexico last month for his birthday.  We spent 2 weeks together and I told him at one point when he again asked why I was spending so much money on him that its because he has an amazing Dad.  In our world, there are more women with Daddy issues than those without them. And that’s sad. 

You could say I have the opposite of Daddy issues. Even though I was isolated from my Dad for awhile while I was in an abusive relationship, it was never because I didnt love my Dad or because I didn’t think he loved me.  My Dad gave his all, fighting for me for years in court, spending months searching for me when my Mom tried to hide me among a mountain of other things he deserves some sort of award for. He’s not perfect, but damn is he close! There’s a lot more to write, and honestly this post would become a novel if I get into too much detail. 

And as a result in the time we were estranged, I collected a bunch of other “Dad’s”. I have never once doubted the power that a strong helpful male influence in life can hold. These are guys not actually related to me that have somehow seen me as a daughter one way or another.  I want to share a list of the most notable ones here as well as the roles they played. 

This photo from right to left is Richard (cosmic dad, explained below), my love, Me and Gustavo my mexican dad.

Mexican Dad: Gustavo is a man we met in our first days in Acapulco.  He fed us at his restaurant La Tortuga (sadly not open anymore), took us to the movies, often cooked us food in his ownhome and never asked for anything in return.  When John and I would fight I would show up at Gustavo’s bareful and hungry and he’d let me stay as long as needed. This happened many times.  He taught me market etiquette and how to tell people they’re charging too much cause I’m a gringa. He also taught me mexican insults and how to use them. We still chat almost every day at least a little. 

Photo of my Crypto Dad and his lovely wife Sol, rolling around with their dog Mila and Renegade back in Acapulco in 2020.

Crypto Dad: Yet another unsung hero of The Anarchists who made a brief cameo but wasn’t actually included. Doug Barbieri was a true friend, he’s the guy who saved Henza’s life by showing up at the hospital to pay his bills when they refused to help until money was forked over. Henza had no money cause he insisted I take it when I dropped him off.  He then spent a week driving around Acapulco with Gustavo (Mexican Dad) trying to find my dogs. Then weeks helping me by making sure I had fun and got me into my first temazcal at Bambuddha. And he also helped by loaning me the money I needed to get out of Acapulco. I call him crypto Dad because he’s the Dad I can talk crypto with, who I dont have to explain crypto to. As much as I love my Bio Dad, hes not super hip on the criptomonedas. 

Terrible photo of me but encapsulates my friendship with Henza perfectly. Taken by Crypto Dad

Uncle Dad Brother: Henza is the lovable or not so lovable depending on who you are uncle dad brother in my life.  Many people online think we hate eachother. We talk a lot of shit, but when push comes to shove and I need someone, he’s repeatedly been there and I like to hope I’ve also been there for him. Its hard to fully express my gratitude for this grumpy hammock ridden man. What I will say is seeing him become the adoptive dad to his wife’s teenage daughter has been nothing short of sweet.  

This photo is a screenshot from Anarchapulco’s replay of 2023, during Bearhearts speech. I was sitting with Vistara and on the other side of her, is Christian, known here as Bambuddha dad.

Bambuddha Dad: Christian is in many ways the second half of Bambuddha Holistic Resort that not a lot of people give enough credit to. Most people see Vistara as the sole face of Bambuddha and while that’s because it is really her baby.  But Christian is the strong quiet masculine force that builds, maintains and helps provide the space with a sense of stability. When I arrive there, he’s always there, arms wide open and a smile on his face to give a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Like Vistara he has watched me transform over the years from angry and depressed to what I am now, which is generally speaking highly motivated, happy and healthy.  The way they’ve welcomed me at Bambuddha and loved me over the years is a huge part of why I am okay, despite all the struggles I’ve experienced.  Soon I plan to write something about Bambuddha and Vistara specifically, as she’s a surrogate Mom to me.

The photo above was taken 2 weeks post murder, just after my interview with Thad. Hes sitting next to me here. I think this is our only photo together other than stills from that interview.

History Dad: Thaddeus Russell, author of The Renegade History of the United States is loved by many and can be a controversial figure at times.  Regardless of what you think of him, what matters most to me is that he was there for me when I really needed him.  Post murder for months to follow he was just a text away, and if I needed a phone call he’d always make time.  He held the community accountable, helped them raise money for me, literally yelled at them on behalf of me on stage at Anarchapulco. He found me a therapist, who honestly saved my ass and helped me reframe my severe PTSD issues post murder.  We laughed and cried together.  He cheered me on as I found my own footing. We don’t talk as much as we used to, but when we do the bond remains the same. 

I want to say this photo is from my birthday party in 2017, but its hard to place. This is probably the best photo I have with Cosmic dad tho it does make me a little sad because I can see a face of mine puffy from crying as there was a lot of conflict in my life and fighting that day in particular.

Cosmic English Dad:
Richard or lovingly called The Englishman in my Steemit Chronicals is another unsung hero of The Anarchists. He lived with us and for that reason was the witness of a lot of the abuse I endured in my days in Acapulco. He knows better than anyone the systematic programing I was subject to in those days.  He was also aware of the beautiful sides of my abuser that contrasted his struggles. He loved us both, and took care of us both and was always there to help. Even after he moved out he came to our meal nights and visited with us while in town. And post murder he was the first person who would see me as many were too afraid to associate. I came to his hotel covered in blood and called Shane’s mom with the bad news from his phone.  And since then we have managed to bond over many things including a mutual love for the world of the occult and how this matrix works. This year while hanging out with a decoder friend at Anarchapulco, it was revealed to us that he is basically a cosmic parent to me, which has absolutely lined up with his role in my life. 

If Im being honest this is just a whisper of the people who stood up for me when my Dad couldn’t, when he was isolated from me.  These people helped me feel safe in what was often a turbulent and depressing world. And these people all still cheer me on as I thrive more and more. 

And again its worth circling back to my real Dad. I could write a book about all the ways in which he’s a great Dad and I would still have stories left to tell. As I write my story in comic as well as in regular text, you will hear more and more stories to come about him. 

When I first told him about the concept of my other “Dad’s” he seemed grateful that I had people there to help. He’s met some of them and heard stories about others. He was brought to tears when I explained here that I am so grateful to attract so much “Dad” energy into my life and I’m convinced that its because of his influence.  This whole feminist movement of kids don’t need their Dads to me is damaging, because the reality is we need both parents to show up otherwise issues arise. 

If I didnt have the strong foundation of love from my Dad, with everything I’ve been through, I would NOT be ok.  I’d have given up completely as I did briefly consider. But despite the abuse, the struggles, the traumas Ive endured there’s something I’ve never had to wonder about.  My dad always made it clear he loves me, admires me and is proud of who I am. He tells me that every time we talk, and I know that he means it. So thanks Dad. 

For now, here’s a photo dump from our recent adventures in Mexico together.  Looking forward to bringing him back as soon as possible.